today when i opened up The New Paper at dinner table after work...
it is page after page of bad news...
young father-to-be sudden death
cabby who got a heart-attack
dad lost his life while attempting to save his family
i didn't have the heart to finish reading the last article...
i'm distraught by all these bad news...
my heart felt heavy....like there are tons of stone tied to it...pulling it into deep valley...
very depressing....
it is near festive season...but i'm feeling more weary than ever...
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Hairy crabs
Thursday, October 26, 2006
compliment
i'm proud of my language skill :)
recently over dinner in shanghai with my agent and both our colleagues
my agent mentioned to me that among so many s'porean reps she has,
i am the only one who can keep up with her speed of speaking mandarin
able to understand and converse with her without her having to slow down and use simpler terms
and she told me the most impressive part is that I can converse with her without a single usage of english words in my conversation...
i thank my grandpa for it and also my natural talent ;-)
recently over dinner in shanghai with my agent and both our colleagues
my agent mentioned to me that among so many s'porean reps she has,
i am the only one who can keep up with her speed of speaking mandarin
able to understand and converse with her without her having to slow down and use simpler terms
and she told me the most impressive part is that I can converse with her without a single usage of english words in my conversation...
i thank my grandpa for it and also my natural talent ;-)
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Happy Birthday!
i know it is stupid...
i know this is not fairytale...
i know this is impossible
but wish is still wish
may i wish for health & happiness in the years that follow....
happy birthday!
i know this is not fairytale...
i know this is impossible
but wish is still wish
may i wish for health & happiness in the years that follow....
happy birthday!
Monday, October 02, 2006
Hello kitty nissan march
tonite i saw a pink hello kitty nissan march behind me while i was going into a car park.
It's driven by a MAN! can you believed it...
the car is so cute...with the front logo a hello kitty face that can lit up...
the side of the car is also printed with hello kitty princess or something like that...
what a mis-match....
I noticed where it is parked and wanted to take a picture of it...
but by the time i find a parking space and come back...he is ready to leave :(
so sad...I didn't manage to capture it...
It's driven by a MAN! can you believed it...
the car is so cute...with the front logo a hello kitty face that can lit up...
the side of the car is also printed with hello kitty princess or something like that...
what a mis-match....
I noticed where it is parked and wanted to take a picture of it...
but by the time i find a parking space and come back...he is ready to leave :(
so sad...I didn't manage to capture it...
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Fairytale
someone asked me...why do I always like to do cantoons to represent my image?
i thought for a while abt this qn...and i think it is bcos
i wanted very much to believe in fairytalein fairytale...the characters are all so clearly depicted.
i am able to tell a good guy from a bad...there is a happily ever after story
it is so different in reality...
maybe i just want to escape from the cruelty of life...
think about this...in reality...does anyone has this word "i'm bad" written on the forehead...no way...there are pple who look so sweet on the outside but are so evil inside...pple who can pretend so well...that u don't even know it when u r conned...
there is a saying that the eyes are the windows to a person's heart...it is possible to see a person's true self through the eyes...although i don't dispute that but i think it will be too late by then...bcos a lot of close contacts are required to be able to see thru the eyes...
i thought for a while abt this qn...and i think it is bcos
i wanted very much to believe in fairytalein fairytale...the characters are all so clearly depicted.
i am able to tell a good guy from a bad...there is a happily ever after story
it is so different in reality...
maybe i just want to escape from the cruelty of life...
think about this...in reality...does anyone has this word "i'm bad" written on the forehead...no way...there are pple who look so sweet on the outside but are so evil inside...pple who can pretend so well...that u don't even know it when u r conned...
there is a saying that the eyes are the windows to a person's heart...it is possible to see a person's true self through the eyes...although i don't dispute that but i think it will be too late by then...bcos a lot of close contacts are required to be able to see thru the eyes...
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
No more chocolate for me
i am banning chocolate from my life
why?
i used to be able to eat a whole box of chocolate without any side effect
but recently....things are different
I just need to eat a small little bar...and sob sob...i will get sore throat and pimples will be popping out by mad...
can you believed it! at this age...i can still be getting pimples...
now i wonder how long can i last ^_^
why?
i used to be able to eat a whole box of chocolate without any side effect
but recently....things are different
I just need to eat a small little bar...and sob sob...i will get sore throat and pimples will be popping out by mad...
can you believed it! at this age...i can still be getting pimples...
now i wonder how long can i last ^_^
Monday, September 18, 2006
Appreciation
in life...we have to learn to appreciate the little things that happened all the time in our daily routine...
never to compare with the jones...bcos as human beings...once again we will only pick the better things others have to compare...and we will always appear so worse off...rem...the grass is always greener on the other side...and also bcos pple will always present the best for others to see...you will not get to see the 'dirty linen'...of course unless there is a strategy to showcase it purposely...
so to me...appreciation comes in (for example)
1) have a smooth ride in the morning to work (read: beating all the traffic lights...haha)
2) hearing a nice song with a lyric that so reflect my current mood
3) when i catch a nice sunset on the way home from work
4) when i chanced upon a nice blooming flower
5) when that special someone initiated a morning *muack* for me... (read: still searching/hoping/waiting)
etc etc etc
never to compare with the jones...bcos as human beings...once again we will only pick the better things others have to compare...and we will always appear so worse off...rem...the grass is always greener on the other side...and also bcos pple will always present the best for others to see...you will not get to see the 'dirty linen'...of course unless there is a strategy to showcase it purposely...
so to me...appreciation comes in (for example)
1) have a smooth ride in the morning to work (read: beating all the traffic lights...haha)
2) hearing a nice song with a lyric that so reflect my current mood
3) when i catch a nice sunset on the way home from work
4) when i chanced upon a nice blooming flower
5) when that special someone initiated a morning *muack* for me... (read: still searching/hoping/waiting)
etc etc etc
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Attitude
Be it toward work or personal life...i always believe that one shd not working solely for financial purposes
I believe:
1) If you wake up in the morning loathing to go to work...i personally think it is time to relook into your choice of work. It could be the pple at work, not work per se...
2) work as hobby and hobby as work
3) look for that something that u luv to do so much that u'll do it even for free
4) if you work solely for financial purpose, you will not last long...you'll end up like a walking zombie...not knowing how to appreciate the happiness of your life...
see...even writing a short blog entry can be so beautiful ^_^
remember...the word is passion
what trigger this topic about attitude?
I'm suppose to receive 2 couriers from China containing important original document. One arrived and the other did not. However, my counterpart in China checked and the courier company in S'pore insisted that it was delivered to someone somewhere in the office. The gist is that we finally discovered that the parcel is missing-in-action and the courier company has no idea where is it...however...still pushing the blame to the receiving party...to me...this is attitude problem...even when i clearly stated that only one of the parcel was received, they can turn around and tell the china side that i did receive...i'm ashamed of such pple...
I believe:
1) If you wake up in the morning loathing to go to work...i personally think it is time to relook into your choice of work. It could be the pple at work, not work per se...
2) work as hobby and hobby as work
3) look for that something that u luv to do so much that u'll do it even for free
4) if you work solely for financial purpose, you will not last long...you'll end up like a walking zombie...not knowing how to appreciate the happiness of your life...
see...even writing a short blog entry can be so beautiful ^_^
remember...the word is passion
what trigger this topic about attitude?
I'm suppose to receive 2 couriers from China containing important original document. One arrived and the other did not. However, my counterpart in China checked and the courier company in S'pore insisted that it was delivered to someone somewhere in the office. The gist is that we finally discovered that the parcel is missing-in-action and the courier company has no idea where is it...however...still pushing the blame to the receiving party...to me...this is attitude problem...even when i clearly stated that only one of the parcel was received, they can turn around and tell the china side that i did receive...i'm ashamed of such pple...
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Monday, September 04, 2006
I am seeking...
what genuinely moves me...
what do I love to do so much that i'll do it for free...
i hv set my sights in this direction...i think if i ever found it...it will really be a blessing...
what do I love to do so much that i'll do it for free...
i hv set my sights in this direction...i think if i ever found it...it will really be a blessing...
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Official guide to yummy food
I have become the unofficial supplier of or guide to yummy food.I am not sure when this started...but when there are visitors from overseas, I'll asked to bring them to seek out the local yummy dishes.Even my colleagues will ask me to bring them.And when i travel, I become the supplier of yummy snacks that can't be found in s'pore.Well...i like to eat...although i'm not adventurous in trying new food, I can kind of figure out what is nice pretty easier...and for a start I'll buy a bit for my coll to try...abd in the end...i get request in buy more and moreLay's Cool Cucumber flavor...this is an example of the chip that get pple back home crazy...:)
let me know if u can find in S'pore...else i always got to search the supermarkets and airflown one lugguage home ^_^
Monday, August 28, 2006
Another realisation
i hardly use my office hour to write blog...this must be considered one of the first...bcos i think it is impt enuf to get my attention...but hey i'm using lunch hour to do this...^_^...so no penalty...
ystd a frnd makes me realise that i can be quite bossy at times...
now i have decided that i will be mindful of it...
(read: doesn't mean it will not happen again or stop immediately...just that i will be careful...and hopefully in the near future...no more!)
here i'm blogging...keeping a record...so that when i ever forget along my life...
when i occassionally read my own blog...it will remind me...that i made a decision to change!
that i need to control this 'big sis' kind of character...aiyo...this really makes me sound so old...
here...i'm not trying to find excuses for my 'bossi-ness'...but nobody knows my past...
but being the elder child...from the background i came from...
the need to be independent from very young...the need to care for the family from a young age
and not the other way round...add to my current character...
but i didnt really realise that until ystd
or rather it fully dawns on me...the world i'm living in...not many pple can accept such a character...especially from a woman...i think i must have offended many pple along the way w/o realising it...
so from now on...i must be constantly minful...and it is not only applies to my frnds...it includes my colleagues
thanks to my frnd...if you are reading this...u know who u r...
ystd a frnd makes me realise that i can be quite bossy at times...
now i have decided that i will be mindful of it...
(read: doesn't mean it will not happen again or stop immediately...just that i will be careful...and hopefully in the near future...no more!)
here i'm blogging...keeping a record...so that when i ever forget along my life...
when i occassionally read my own blog...it will remind me...that i made a decision to change!
that i need to control this 'big sis' kind of character...aiyo...this really makes me sound so old...
here...i'm not trying to find excuses for my 'bossi-ness'...but nobody knows my past...
but being the elder child...from the background i came from...
the need to be independent from very young...the need to care for the family from a young age
and not the other way round...add to my current character...
but i didnt really realise that until ystd
or rather it fully dawns on me...the world i'm living in...not many pple can accept such a character...especially from a woman...i think i must have offended many pple along the way w/o realising it...
so from now on...i must be constantly minful...and it is not only applies to my frnds...it includes my colleagues
thanks to my frnd...if you are reading this...u know who u r...
Friday, August 18, 2006
i seek to understand myself better...
INFP
Idealistic, loyal to their values and to people who are important to them.
Want an external life that is congruent with their values.
Curious, quick to see possibilites, can be catalysts for implementing ideas.
Seek to understand people and to help them fulfill their potential.
Adaptable, flexible, and accepting unless a value is threatened.
As J & P are very close...i found another part that I need to add:
Want to understand what motivates people and are insightful about others
Conscientious and committed to their firm values.
a very good description of me...
Idealistic, loyal to their values and to people who are important to them.
Want an external life that is congruent with their values.
Curious, quick to see possibilites, can be catalysts for implementing ideas.
Seek to understand people and to help them fulfill their potential.
Adaptable, flexible, and accepting unless a value is threatened.
As J & P are very close...i found another part that I need to add:
Want to understand what motivates people and are insightful about others
Conscientious and committed to their firm values.
a very good description of me...
Thursday, August 17, 2006
MBTI
I always know i understand my own characteristics quite well...
i know my weaknesses and it is always very draining when i got to do the things opposite to my strengths...
it takes a lot effort...to control and keep inline...
anyway...ystd we did the MBTI score and it is a confirmation of my own understanding of myself...
my estimate type is exactly the same as reported type...not bad...work harder J@net...^_^
i know my weaknesses and it is always very draining when i got to do the things opposite to my strengths...
it takes a lot effort...to control and keep inline...
anyway...ystd we did the MBTI score and it is a confirmation of my own understanding of myself...
my estimate type is exactly the same as reported type...not bad...work harder J@net...^_^
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Celebrate left-hander day
I experience anti-lefty bias in the form of school desks that are unusable, potatoes peelers that are useless, can-opener that I have to do it opposite way (shd hv taken a picture to see how hilarious i looked), power tools (such as welding, drill) that are dangerous or even life-threatening, pens that smear and make my writing illegible, computer mouse that cause hand cramps.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Guilty
Ok, i'm guilty...of uploading mundane stuff...like talking abt McDonald...what for?
I got nothing to say? actually i wrote some...but i 'drafted' them...
i didn't dare to publish...very inner feelings/thoughts...
i'm afraid to share...not with strangers who don't know me...but pple (whom i know) may chance upon it...
why am i afraid...it is something psychological...i need to work on it...and find out the reason one of these days...till then...con't to read my nonsense :)
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Are there any more countries in this world without McDonald's?
oh yes....Maldives ^_^
it is great news...i can live life w/o good old Mac...i can survive...
it is great news...i can live life w/o good old Mac...i can survive...
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Today horoscope reading
Things should be going quite well for you today, dear Libra, without you having to work too hard at it. This is just the way you like it. Don't be surprised if unexpected good fortune suddenly knocks at your door. You deserve it. You will find that conversations will be extremely rewarding in many ways. You are able to link together resources, ideas, and willpower in order to make the impossible possible. Have confidence in yourself, and you will soar into the heavens.
I don't mind if it come true...
I don't mind if it come true...
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Eulogy
Recently sumthing came into me...what exactly do i want pple to say about me when my time comes... i dunno why it occured to me...but it did...
i want to come up with 6 traits that can really define me...in my short span on earth...
i think hard and so far...here they are
1) intelligent
2) kind/soft hearted
3) magnanimous
4) fun to be with
5) high integrity
6) caring
that i want to be remembered by...
i want to come up with 6 traits that can really define me...in my short span on earth...
i think hard and so far...here they are
1) intelligent
2) kind/soft hearted
3) magnanimous
4) fun to be with
5) high integrity
6) caring
that i want to be remembered by...
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Are there any countries in the world without a McDonald's?
Are there any countries I have been in the world that is without a McDonald's?
Answer: Nepal
Answer: Nepal
Monday, July 03, 2006
It's summer
Although it is not my favorite season...I love summer when it comes to work...
Reasons being
1) the sunset is much later...I seems to be able to accomplish more (read: overwork)
2) i get to travel real light...no heavy coat and thermal wear
3) no dry skin problem
4) no cold weather to battle with
so...enjoy while it lasts...bcos time waits for no man!
Reasons being
1) the sunset is much later...I seems to be able to accomplish more (read: overwork)
2) i get to travel real light...no heavy coat and thermal wear
3) no dry skin problem
4) no cold weather to battle with
so...enjoy while it lasts...bcos time waits for no man!
Saturday, July 01, 2006
No entries for a long time
partly there wasn't a mood...
partly due to no internet access to blogspot...i was overseas...in liaoning that ban blogspot...
partly due to too many journal to update...
partly due to no internet access to blogspot...i was overseas...in liaoning that ban blogspot...
partly due to too many journal to update...
Thursday, June 22, 2006
It's raining
At 11:53pm last nite...it started to rain...i'm all ready to zzz...such a nice weather...
it didn't stop until this morning while i was getting ready for what...what a wonderful nite...:)
to zzz while it is raining outside..under the cozy blanket...
my horoscope reading today...
You may feel somewhat stifled and inhibited today, dear Libra. Oddly enough, this feeling will not come from any outside influence; rather, the source of your discomfort comes from inside yourself. You can look for solutions by examining your personal commitment to your work or study. You may then realize that you won't find fulfillment unless you take a few more risks.
what risks? i'm wondering...
it didn't stop until this morning while i was getting ready for what...what a wonderful nite...:)
to zzz while it is raining outside..under the cozy blanket...
my horoscope reading today...
You may feel somewhat stifled and inhibited today, dear Libra. Oddly enough, this feeling will not come from any outside influence; rather, the source of your discomfort comes from inside yourself. You can look for solutions by examining your personal commitment to your work or study. You may then realize that you won't find fulfillment unless you take a few more risks.
what risks? i'm wondering...
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Extract of the xray report
ok...this is the partial x-ray report...i am going to see the GP tomorrow to get it read...
"soft tissue swelling noted around the medial malleolus
small marginal osteophytes are noted"
in the mean time...any idea what medial malleolus n osteophytes mean??? [scratch head]
"soft tissue swelling noted around the medial malleolus
small marginal osteophytes are noted"
in the mean time...any idea what medial malleolus n osteophytes mean??? [scratch head]
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
28 days of sprained ankle
today marks the 4 weeks of sprained ankle...
after visiting my GP last evening...the recommendation is for me to go for an xray
bcos the swell is still bad...
therefore to have a piece of mind...i'm going to go this afternoon to get it examine...
hopefully nothing is wrong except i need more rest...(which i also couldn't afford)
life is short...life is tough...must take time off...but i hate loneliness...and can't find anyone with time to go away with me at this point in time...the earliest person that can go with me is in Dec...can i survive until then?
ps: no time to download my pictures...no time to do my auction...no time to...
after visiting my GP last evening...the recommendation is for me to go for an xray
bcos the swell is still bad...
therefore to have a piece of mind...i'm going to go this afternoon to get it examine...
hopefully nothing is wrong except i need more rest...(which i also couldn't afford)
life is short...life is tough...must take time off...but i hate loneliness...and can't find anyone with time to go away with me at this point in time...the earliest person that can go with me is in Dec...can i survive until then?
ps: no time to download my pictures...no time to do my auction...no time to...
Saturday, June 17, 2006
pls pray for me
hey u pple outing there reading this...r u praying for me...how come it is no getting any better or maybe worse off...looks even more swollen...picture coming up soon :)
here is the pic
here is the pic
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Healing takes time
Look at this 'pig' feet...usually chinese saying refering to swollen feet...
Visited the TCM this evening again and the doc said the feet is still pretty swollen. 3 weeks after the fall. Torn ligament will take a long time to heal...i need take oral medication to reduce the swelling...i must confess that i'm not a oral medication person...i simply hate it...not juz the swallowing /drinking part...but also following the schedule...the amt etc...i'm juz not the type of person...
but i'm desperate now...it is not healing...i'm diligently taking the medication...
and i also must confess that i only learn to swallow medication at 18...that's not too long ago! ok, i fabricated the last part...heehee
juz wish me a speedy recovery
Visited the TCM this evening again and the doc said the feet is still pretty swollen. 3 weeks after the fall. Torn ligament will take a long time to heal...i need take oral medication to reduce the swelling...i must confess that i'm not a oral medication person...i simply hate it...not juz the swallowing /drinking part...but also following the schedule...the amt etc...i'm juz not the type of person...
but i'm desperate now...it is not healing...i'm diligently taking the medication...
and i also must confess that i only learn to swallow medication at 18...that's not too long ago! ok, i fabricated the last part...heehee
juz wish me a speedy recovery
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
your own God
My cousin sent me this tonite...it kinda of lifted my spirit a bit. and maybe give me hope that there is gonna be light at the end of my dark tunnel now!
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
I have been betrayed...by someone i trusted the most...and the feeling is really really really really really (thousand times) lousy...
During moments of weakness, moment of loss...we have no choice but to look towards something beyond...and based on trust...to see us through...
but i wish hard that nobody...in no way...will have to go through what i'm going thru...
do i hope for a miracle...? of course! who couldn't use a miracle?!
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
I have been betrayed...by someone i trusted the most...and the feeling is really really really really really (thousand times) lousy...
During moments of weakness, moment of loss...we have no choice but to look towards something beyond...and based on trust...to see us through...
but i wish hard that nobody...in no way...will have to go through what i'm going thru...
do i hope for a miracle...? of course! who couldn't use a miracle?!
Sunday, June 11, 2006
What a feet!
...am trying my luck...barely 2 weeks after my torn ligament...i attempted to wear my slight heel to work today....without my ankle guard......braving the risk to further injure it
the result-> i'm walking with a limp now...the ankle still felt painful when i walk with heel...the word to use is unbalance feeling in the feet...
the outcome -> i'm going home during lunch time to get my ankle guard and change into slipper... ):
...sigh....when will it heal???
the result-> i'm walking with a limp now...the ankle still felt painful when i walk with heel...the word to use is unbalance feeling in the feet...
the outcome -> i'm going home during lunch time to get my ankle guard and change into slipper... ):
...sigh....when will it heal???
hapi
today an old friend of mine called from sydney...
she is my childhood frd from school
she migrated to oz last year...and we met up once last Oct when she came back for a visit
and was 7 mths pregnant...
now the baby is 7 mths old...how time flies...
i wish to take some time off to visit her...
anyway...it is always a lift to the heart whenever old frd call or come by
she is my childhood frd from school
she migrated to oz last year...and we met up once last Oct when she came back for a visit
and was 7 mths pregnant...
now the baby is 7 mths old...how time flies...
i wish to take some time off to visit her...
anyway...it is always a lift to the heart whenever old frd call or come by
Monday, June 05, 2006
Quote names
I hate it whenever pple cold call and start quoting names...
telling me they know this director, they know met this principal...
some pple even like to drop names...who and who is their neighbor
omg...give me a break...
i felt that tellin' them in the face "so what"
what is your own credit? how can u contribute to this project...
i dun believe in 'giving in' to who-and-who
but the society is so "searching-for-the-right-word-to-use"...okie...here's the word "mercenary"
this type of thing still work
really disheartening...
telling me they know this director, they know met this principal...
some pple even like to drop names...who and who is their neighbor
omg...give me a break...
i felt that tellin' them in the face "so what"
what is your own credit? how can u contribute to this project...
i dun believe in 'giving in' to who-and-who
but the society is so "searching-for-the-right-word-to-use"...okie...here's the word "mercenary"
this type of thing still work
really disheartening...
Story
the life of everyone is like a story...or you may want to compare it to a movie...
and you are the lead actor/actress in your story...
others will also become the lead in your story beside their own...
some will be lead temporary...some will stay permanent...
and then there are others who will only be playing supporting roles...and many such pple...
more than the lead...coz' how many leads can a story have? ^_^
so...let's live every chapter beautifully...(telling myself)
and you are the lead actor/actress in your story...
others will also become the lead in your story beside their own...
some will be lead temporary...some will stay permanent...
and then there are others who will only be playing supporting roles...and many such pple...
more than the lead...coz' how many leads can a story have? ^_^
so...let's live every chapter beautifully...(telling myself)
Sunday, June 04, 2006
amazing race
what did i do while my ankle is sprained...
1- i went overseas on a biz trip
something i can't get out bcos the trip was scheduled in advance and the sprained ankle came last min before i am due for departure.
2- i brought an assoicate to geylang to eat durian
i promised him during his last trip here and was scheduled too before the sprained ankle...and if i can make the overseas trip...what is a short trip to geylang
**but the ankle became sore again after the trip :(
3- went to the beach
4- i went GSS shopping - someone even bang her stroller on me...goodness
5- i went to wild wild wet...
6- life carries on as usual...no one really bothers
1- i went overseas on a biz trip
something i can't get out bcos the trip was scheduled in advance and the sprained ankle came last min before i am due for departure.
2- i brought an assoicate to geylang to eat durian
i promised him during his last trip here and was scheduled too before the sprained ankle...and if i can make the overseas trip...what is a short trip to geylang
**but the ankle became sore again after the trip :(
3- went to the beach
4- i went GSS shopping - someone even bang her stroller on me...goodness
5- i went to wild wild wet...
6- life carries on as usual...no one really bothers
Saturday, June 03, 2006
let go and move on
why...why...why...
why can't i juz let go and move on
why can't i juz leave...
why must i be here suffering such humiliation
why...GOD!
what did i do wrong?
why must punish me?
and why use such harsh punishment...
i dun want any revenge...and i am not waiting to see any retribution...i juz want to move on...
God...pls help me...get on...i want to leave behind this unpleasant part of my life and move on...
pls...i beg you to help me...help me get on...i dun wanna forget...i dun wanna forgive...bcos i know it will be hard...i juz want to get out...
why can't i juz let go and move on
why can't i juz leave...
why must i be here suffering such humiliation
why...GOD!
what did i do wrong?
why must punish me?
and why use such harsh punishment...
i dun want any revenge...and i am not waiting to see any retribution...i juz want to move on...
God...pls help me...get on...i want to leave behind this unpleasant part of my life and move on...
pls...i beg you to help me...help me get on...i dun wanna forget...i dun wanna forgive...bcos i know it will be hard...i juz want to get out...
Friday, June 02, 2006
Thursday, June 01, 2006
make light of the moment
went to visit a chinese physician to check on my sprained ankle
the situation is like this
1+ torn both ligaments supporting ankle
2+ to be able to walk properly = 3 weeks
3+ to heal = 3 months
4+ wrapped chinese herbs overnite
5+ steam and soak in boiled herbs for 5 consecutive days (each time takes me 3 hrs)
6+ no walk on uneven terrain
situation is improving.
i am even starting to enjoy telling the story on how-i-fall to pple i know...
and make a joke out of it...enjoy seeing them laugh...haha
joke 1
in brief = i missed a step + & fell + ankle got twisted in a funny angle which i no longer can describe + i sat on the ankle + before i start to diet...imagine the weight on that poor tiny ankle...
joke 2
i'm out of action juz like rooney...
joke 3 my own theory
it is God punishment on me...for buying too many pairs of heels...hahaha
from this event i discovered that my ankle is pretty small...heehee...i need an ankle guard of size small...
the situation is like this
1+ torn both ligaments supporting ankle
2+ to be able to walk properly = 3 weeks
3+ to heal = 3 months
4+ wrapped chinese herbs overnite
5+ steam and soak in boiled herbs for 5 consecutive days (each time takes me 3 hrs)
6+ no walk on uneven terrain
situation is improving.
i am even starting to enjoy telling the story on how-i-fall to pple i know...
and make a joke out of it...enjoy seeing them laugh...haha
joke 1
in brief = i missed a step + & fell + ankle got twisted in a funny angle which i no longer can describe + i sat on the ankle + before i start to diet...imagine the weight on that poor tiny ankle...
joke 2
i'm out of action juz like rooney...
joke 3 my own theory
it is God punishment on me...for buying too many pairs of heels...hahaha
from this event i discovered that my ankle is pretty small...heehee...i need an ankle guard of size small...
Monday, May 29, 2006
yuck-yuck-yuck
Thursday, May 25, 2006
The day i sprained my ankle
i hv this serious problem...my brain can't coordinate with my actions...sometimes
what happened is that my brain will think ahead of my action...and i get into accidents bcoz of that...
there was this time back in Nov when i unlocked my car, open the door and before i got in, i closed the door on myself and hurt my forehead...quite badly...
Today...i sprained my left feet ... early in the morning... i wasn't wearing my specs...but wasn't totally blind...was rushing down the stair to pick up some hangers from the laundry area...i was 2 steps away from the base and my brain was thinking which slipper shd i take at the base...so i missed a step on the stair and that's it...my life took a turn... i really have no idea which angle my feet was at...but it was at a funny angle ...the pain was excruciating, i dun even have the voice to cry out... but tears were rolling down my cheeks...
finally when i managed to put my feet back to normal position
i was still hoping that it is just a minor injury and maybe only some bruises...although i was walking with a limp
but before noon, my ankle was swollen...like an elephant feet...the bad news is i got a flight to China tmr as I am scheduled to give a seminar and meet-parents session in China on Sat
i hope i can pull thru this stage...
what happened is that my brain will think ahead of my action...and i get into accidents bcoz of that...
there was this time back in Nov when i unlocked my car, open the door and before i got in, i closed the door on myself and hurt my forehead...quite badly...
Today...i sprained my left feet ... early in the morning... i wasn't wearing my specs...but wasn't totally blind...was rushing down the stair to pick up some hangers from the laundry area...i was 2 steps away from the base and my brain was thinking which slipper shd i take at the base...so i missed a step on the stair and that's it...my life took a turn... i really have no idea which angle my feet was at...but it was at a funny angle ...the pain was excruciating, i dun even have the voice to cry out... but tears were rolling down my cheeks...
finally when i managed to put my feet back to normal position
i was still hoping that it is just a minor injury and maybe only some bruises...although i was walking with a limp
but before noon, my ankle was swollen...like an elephant feet...the bad news is i got a flight to China tmr as I am scheduled to give a seminar and meet-parents session in China on Sat
i hope i can pull thru this stage...
Monday, May 22, 2006
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Roller-coaster emotions
I felt alone today...with no help in sight...
someone once told me...that jumping is the 'best' suicide method
coz it is painless...it hits u before u even know it...
i juz thot it will be "end-all-for-me" if i juz jump from a 50th storey...
why am i entertaining such a thot today again...
guess the person wont be hapi to know this
but i juz felt the sudden urge to end all
it will be like the end of all the pains I have been feeling and the hurts that I have been getting
at the same time...
i keep telling myself that nothing is too much to take
i am strong enough...
i must live for myself and not others...
as long as i'm happy...but i'm not happy...bcos of the selfishness i see in pple surrounding me
why can't pple be more generous, be less self-centered...
i wish too that i can get out of all this madness soon...God...give me strength!
someone once told me...that jumping is the 'best' suicide method
coz it is painless...it hits u before u even know it...
i juz thot it will be "end-all-for-me" if i juz jump from a 50th storey...
why am i entertaining such a thot today again...
guess the person wont be hapi to know this
but i juz felt the sudden urge to end all
it will be like the end of all the pains I have been feeling and the hurts that I have been getting
at the same time...
i keep telling myself that nothing is too much to take
i am strong enough...
i must live for myself and not others...
as long as i'm happy...but i'm not happy...bcos of the selfishness i see in pple surrounding me
why can't pple be more generous, be less self-centered...
i wish too that i can get out of all this madness soon...God...give me strength!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
the 49 days
The silence of the night
brings back so many memories I hold inside
how i wish u were still in sight
the room will be full of light
will time heal...nobody knew
at this point
only one step at a time
brings back so many memories I hold inside
how i wish u were still in sight
the room will be full of light
will time heal...nobody knew
at this point
only one step at a time
Monday, May 15, 2006
adjusting back to +8 timezone
as usual
adjusting back to home timezone is much easier than away...
no wonder in soccer, it is always advantages to be on home ground as compared to away :)
anyway, like the previous times...i didn't have any problem getting back to local timezone...
didn't even feel the jetlag at all...
maybe coz i can zzz like a pig anytime of the day :)
thank goodness i have such a wonderful skill...
actually i was pretty worried on the plane back...
the flight from LAX is at 11:15pm (-6 timezone where I spend the last 10 days) where LAX is -8 timezone. when we are on board, dinner was still serve, and that is like 12midnight my tummy time...of course i can't stomach anything...the gentleman beside me still ask why am i not eating...i got to explain WHY...anyway...i went to zzz almost immediately...and the next time i woke up...i think it was abt 6 hrs later...my eyes are now wide open and i can't go to bed...i tried listening to some boring audio story...and that put me to slumber for a while...generally i think i was a bit hungry too as my last meal was at 1pm (which is 17 hrs ago)...so from then on...i can't zzz...& i thot this time i'm sure gg to suffer from jetlag when i reach home...surprisingly nothing of the sort...hooray...was tired a earlier and zzz earlier...but nothing much affected :0 i hope so...hopefully my project mates think so too...
adjusting back to home timezone is much easier than away...
no wonder in soccer, it is always advantages to be on home ground as compared to away :)
anyway, like the previous times...i didn't have any problem getting back to local timezone...
didn't even feel the jetlag at all...
maybe coz i can zzz like a pig anytime of the day :)
thank goodness i have such a wonderful skill...
actually i was pretty worried on the plane back...
the flight from LAX is at 11:15pm (-6 timezone where I spend the last 10 days) where LAX is -8 timezone. when we are on board, dinner was still serve, and that is like 12midnight my tummy time...of course i can't stomach anything...the gentleman beside me still ask why am i not eating...i got to explain WHY...anyway...i went to zzz almost immediately...and the next time i woke up...i think it was abt 6 hrs later...my eyes are now wide open and i can't go to bed...i tried listening to some boring audio story...and that put me to slumber for a while...generally i think i was a bit hungry too as my last meal was at 1pm (which is 17 hrs ago)...so from then on...i can't zzz...& i thot this time i'm sure gg to suffer from jetlag when i reach home...surprisingly nothing of the sort...hooray...was tired a earlier and zzz earlier...but nothing much affected :0 i hope so...hopefully my project mates think so too...
Saturday, May 13, 2006
The Dallas Morning News
horoscope...
Libra
invest in an area that you have long been curious about. Get some of these old questions answered and you'll sleep better at night...
interesting...i wonder which area :0
Libra
invest in an area that you have long been curious about. Get some of these old questions answered and you'll sleep better at night...
interesting...i wonder which area :0
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
lazing around on a mid week
libra for today :-
You might find yourself just wanting to stick to the couch today, dear Libra. This is fine. Don't even get up if you don't want to. You are probably better off just sticking close to home and enjoying a good video tonight. If people ask you how you are doing, give them an honest answer. Others will be able to see right through you, so don't try to hide your feelings. Express them. Today is a good day to say how you really feel.
once again...how so true...today i got a conference to attend...but i felt so lethargic...dun feel like moving at all...dun feel like getting out of the room...just sitting in front of the window enjoying the scenary from level 17...dun even feel like exploring this lovely city in the lovely weather...i luv the !dea of having the whole day on my hand...plus my 'handsome' driver is going out of town for a meeting...hope he doesn't ask me what i did today when i see him tomorrow...i really dun feel like giving him an honest answer...yeap...maybe i will tell him i went over to his galleria...
last nite we juz had a cowboy nite...at the ranch...with some rodeo...nothing of brokeback mt sort...heehee
it was pretty fun...but as usual...i was still feeling tired...slept on the way there at 6pm in the evening...but at least that helps me lasted until 1:30am to call back home...which is 13 hrs ahead...
a picture to share on last evening...
You might find yourself just wanting to stick to the couch today, dear Libra. This is fine. Don't even get up if you don't want to. You are probably better off just sticking close to home and enjoying a good video tonight. If people ask you how you are doing, give them an honest answer. Others will be able to see right through you, so don't try to hide your feelings. Express them. Today is a good day to say how you really feel.
once again...how so true...today i got a conference to attend...but i felt so lethargic...dun feel like moving at all...dun feel like getting out of the room...just sitting in front of the window enjoying the scenary from level 17...dun even feel like exploring this lovely city in the lovely weather...i luv the !dea of having the whole day on my hand...plus my 'handsome' driver is going out of town for a meeting...hope he doesn't ask me what i did today when i see him tomorrow...i really dun feel like giving him an honest answer...yeap...maybe i will tell him i went over to his galleria...
last nite we juz had a cowboy nite...at the ranch...with some rodeo...nothing of brokeback mt sort...heehee
it was pretty fun...but as usual...i was still feeling tired...slept on the way there at 6pm in the evening...but at least that helps me lasted until 1:30am to call back home...which is 13 hrs ahead...
a picture to share on last evening...
Sunday, May 07, 2006
my jetlag
gosh...it has been sometimes since i last traveled to the States
totally forgot about the jetlag experience...
now it hits me again...
it is actually 5am, i'm sitting fully awake in my hotel...but it is 6pm back home...
1st the transit at LA was a gruelling 8 hrs wait...we arrived at 4:30pm and the next flight is only going out at 00:15...
by the time we reach our final destination, it was only 5am...
at the hotel, it was only 7am. we checked in and washup but make it a point not to sleep...
by 3pm local...we were really tired...but pushing on...
6pm local time is a really challenge as we have not gone to bed for 48 hrs...
i managed to last until 11pm local time when i knocked out...i thot i will be able to sleep for a whole stretch...but trust Jeff...he said i shd be thankful is i don't wake up at 2am...
now...i woke up at 1am, 3am, 5am...sux...it is the biological clock in the body...look like i better go back to bed and laze around instead of writing some stupid blog...to get over my jetlag...
totally forgot about the jetlag experience...
now it hits me again...
it is actually 5am, i'm sitting fully awake in my hotel...but it is 6pm back home...
1st the transit at LA was a gruelling 8 hrs wait...we arrived at 4:30pm and the next flight is only going out at 00:15...
by the time we reach our final destination, it was only 5am...
at the hotel, it was only 7am. we checked in and washup but make it a point not to sleep...
by 3pm local...we were really tired...but pushing on...
6pm local time is a really challenge as we have not gone to bed for 48 hrs...
i managed to last until 11pm local time when i knocked out...i thot i will be able to sleep for a whole stretch...but trust Jeff...he said i shd be thankful is i don't wake up at 2am...
now...i woke up at 1am, 3am, 5am...sux...it is the biological clock in the body...look like i better go back to bed and laze around instead of writing some stupid blog...to get over my jetlag...
Thursday, May 04, 2006
!deas
i discovered i can think better when i'm not at my desk or facing a computer...
like when i am driving...when i'm in the shower...when i'm in a meeting...when i'm....
as long as i'm not at my desk...
but i got a BIG problem...if i dun hv a pen and paper on hand...
i will definitely forget 99% of the brillant !deas I thot of during those times...
and let me ask u, how to hv a pen and paper when u r showering?
so actually i got a lot of creative !deas, just that they nvr get to see the light...(-,-)
like when i am driving...when i'm in the shower...when i'm in a meeting...when i'm....
as long as i'm not at my desk...
but i got a BIG problem...if i dun hv a pen and paper on hand...
i will definitely forget 99% of the brillant !deas I thot of during those times...
and let me ask u, how to hv a pen and paper when u r showering?
so actually i got a lot of creative !deas, just that they nvr get to see the light...(-,-)
Another day to day beauty
on my way to work
there is this stretch of road...
along bukit timah road
this beautiful stretch of trees...green golden orangy leaves...the colors are so smoothing...
outside the chinese high school...
if you are travelling on this stretch...it is juz on the right side of the road...nex to the canel
this is part of daily beauty...i love to admire this part every morning...especially when the sky is a bit overcast...perfect...make my day
there is this stretch of road...
along bukit timah road
this beautiful stretch of trees...green golden orangy leaves...the colors are so smoothing...
outside the chinese high school...
if you are travelling on this stretch...it is juz on the right side of the road...nex to the canel
this is part of daily beauty...i love to admire this part every morning...especially when the sky is a bit overcast...perfect...make my day
selfishness
I would say almost everyone has some selfishness in them...
but the key is the degree of selfishness that makes a person so...how to describe...can't think of a good word to use...anyway...will come back on this again...
but the key is the degree of selfishness that makes a person so...how to describe...can't think of a good word to use...anyway...will come back on this again...
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
discussing Passion again
just 2 days ago in india...i was having this particular chat over lunch with an old friend and my colleague...and we spoke about this topic on passion again...i am a firm believer on passion...and as we were discussing, two more factors were being brought into the discussion.
1) Commitment 2) Dedication...
i remember saying in this blog before that passion may not equate to success...
with these 2 new factors...combined with passion...i think there is a high chance of success...
so take note...add these to whatever you are doing...tell me if you felt good abt it after that...tell me if you are successful when you apply them...
1) Commitment 2) Dedication...
i remember saying in this blog before that passion may not equate to success...
with these 2 new factors...combined with passion...i think there is a high chance of success...
so take note...add these to whatever you are doing...tell me if you felt good abt it after that...tell me if you are successful when you apply them...
Friday, April 28, 2006
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Beauty to me is...
When it is cloudy or overcast but muz still have a little sunlight shining thru' in between...with a slight breeze...with leaves falling from the tree... about to rain (but no rain)...you may think it is so contradicting or even conflicting but it is true...nature is separated by such a thin line...rain or no rain...i hate wet floor, wet road...period.
this morning...after the punctured tyre and the replacement...at about 8:50am... i was driving to office along clementi road and the view was perfect...just like what i decribe above...u dun get it all the time...only at the right time, right place....
this morning...after the punctured tyre and the replacement...at about 8:50am... i was driving to office along clementi road and the view was perfect...just like what i decribe above...u dun get it all the time...only at the right time, right place....
Monday, April 10, 2006
Orchid
The largest group of flowering plants. There are 25k to 30k wild orchid species in the world. These make up 10% or more of the known plant species, and each year, many more orchid species are being discovered.
Orchids are found throughout the world, even at the very edge of the Arctic circle. Their tiny, dust-like seeds can be dispersed far and wide, enabling orchids to grow almost everywhere.
In addition to the vast number of species, there are about 100k man-made orchid hybrids. So, the orchids that you ocme across are most likely hybrids.
Orchids are found throughout the world, even at the very edge of the Arctic circle. Their tiny, dust-like seeds can be dispersed far and wide, enabling orchids to grow almost everywhere.
In addition to the vast number of species, there are about 100k man-made orchid hybrids. So, the orchids that you ocme across are most likely hybrids.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
the most beautiful place on earth - even if it is only for 10 secs
as i was driving home one of the evenings...the sun was setting behind my back...i was going over this flyover...right in front of me....canopy of greenery rainforest lining on both sides of the road..with the blue sky (a bit overcast) as the backdrop...and the setting sunlight shining on the greenery...making them golden brown....the overcast sky made it really romantic...oh...i give anything to see it again....the most beautiful place on earth - even if it is only for 10 secs
i have been on this route at least >100 times...but that was the only encounter...Jan 2006..what a start to the new year! if you believe in being at the right place at the right time...
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
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