that's me...

You like to give people advice, dear Libra, and help them find direction in your lives... (Sometimes when they haven't even asked). But now, it's your turn to feel a little lost. You may need to get away from it all to get some perspective on your life. What about taking a trip to some faraway land? Today is a good day to make your vacation plans.

what is this life?

i have been questioning my existence
so can i do to be more meaningful
to contribute to to this world...
instead of living a mundane existence...
come and go without a trace...

don't get me wrong....i don't want to be a hero
and don't want to be someone with a big name...
i just want to make a difference to everything and everyone i meet in my life
even a slight one....make a better difference

in fact...that's why i am staying on in my job...
thou many many people including my colleagues told me to seek for greener pasture (better compensation)
but to me....money is not everything.....although financial independent is :-)

Leave margin in life….

Don’t rush from appointment to appointment, leave time gap in between to catch your breath…

i think this entry serves to remind myself more than you who are reading...

no more

after spending much time shifting and moving my things
i have decided that i will not buy any more shoes, clothes and bags for this year...
luckily there is only one more month to go...till the end of the year...
else I wonder how i survive without shopping....cant blame me....i am a woman!

but on a serious note, i desperately need to look for something that can nourish my heart...
not shopping...not endless buying....yes....it is called shopping therapy....but it only heals temporary...
it is not healthy for long term....so now....my objective is to list down the things to do that can make me heart...i think one of them must be making others happy

hmmm

what to say....many things are happening...

and i don't know where to start

but generally my heart is not happy...

why....and i don't know why....

or do i know why...but don't want to share?

i m not sure what i am living for....

life seems so meaningless....

i am like a walking zoombie...

but then i find this entry so depressing that i think i should stop now....

shooting star

today marks a special day.
i just saw a meteor on the way home a while ago....at around 8:45pm
it is a green bright meteor....what a wonderful sight....*grin
my first time ;)

fairytale

what is fairytale to me?

I was told i am too idealistic

princess with charming prince, lovingly lived happily ever after

eternity love & no no to pre-marital sex

my selfish list

additional item

no sharing of bathroom if i have a choice...

am i getting too much? lols

call me selfish

but there are something that i don't like to share
1) driving seat....why? bcos i just don't like changing the seat positioning...
i may sounded very weird...but i just don't like....
2) my pc....that's it is call personal...don't u think so?

Accident prone

Sigh....this is the nail that got into my foot on Sunday

Slight more than a year ago, I sprained my ankle on this exact spot...at the bottom of the stair....and yesterday I got this rusty tiny little nail into my right foot at the top of the stair. The pain is slightly bearable compared to the sprained ankle, but the implication is unknown....

In the end, I got to get a jab on my arm, antibiotics 5 days course, anti-swelling medication and cream based on doc's advise.

What luck am i going thru'.....after harddisk and memory cards reader episode....pray for good luck....

high maintainence

work has not been going smoothly for me
it may be coined as a happy problem 'demand exceeded supply many times'
and without warning...so we are unable to supply based on our earlier marketing effort
but i faced the customers daily
their unhappiness, unable to comprehend....bcos i can't tell them we can't support the demand...
being in marketing...i have to put it in a very 'quality' way....
but it is like putting my reputation at stake...
being me....i just don't like that feeling
i was the one marketing to them...telling them the information
now with changes internally....i have to change my statement...
the feeling isn't great...bcos i m a lousy liar...

and then i have been feeling this pain in my knee...there is no significant sign of bruises on the knee...
but i felt sharp pain when i walk or take the stair....
and i can't bend my knee....i juz don't know what is happening in my life...

so i took half a off from work today after getting a earful from the customers this morning
i decided to chop off my reasonably long hair....
and while doing my hair...decide to pamper myself and go for pedicure
it is my first time and the feeling was great...
the only imperfection is that i couldn't choose a bright red nail paint
bcos i totally forgot...until the pedicure lady reminded me that i have a broken toenail (outcome of my trip to kathmandu)
it is a pity that my digital camera is not working
else i would take some nice pretty toes to show off :-p

if u were to ask me "are you a high maintainence person today?"
i will surely tell you "yes, i am" :)
at least for that moment....it is like....why am i working so hard....if i don't pamper myself...

so sad

it is such a sad day for me....
i broke my digital camera today
sob sob....
no picture from now on until i get my new camera
it was already half gone....and i was trying to take a picture when the len refused to return to off position
while trying to replace the battery
i dropped the camera again
this time, the len is broken and could take any more picture
and it can't retract back to off position
look like i really messed it up....so sad....

tv

a friend of mine who is in the hotel business
was very surprised when he learnt that i do not switch on tv in the hotel room
wherever i stayed....
again i 'm the adnormal customer...
i even hate it when the tv automatically turn on whenever i slot in the room key....
I told him i didn't like it....first thing i do is to go and turn it off....
am i a freak?

i'm a freak

& a complete freak for that matter
i don't know....i just don't act according to pple expectation
i like to do things out of ordinary....
and get on majority of the pple nerve
so since i don't live up to the majority expectation - norm behavior...
i myself decided i'm a freak instead of labelling the others as freak

worse trip experience at the bkk airport

first the transit at suvarnabhumi airport in bkk
well...i must say it really gives me a very bad impression...
our gate of arrival is C
the other gate is E....
so based on logic...how far can E be from C...
C...D....E....right
but i think E is right at the other end of E...
and there wasn't any layout nor signal to signal that E is very very very very very far.....
during the last 2 trips....they are all pretty nearby....
so we walked and walked and walked....then we start to run....bcos we missed the 10 mins gate close before departure time....
gate E is at least 1 km away from C!!!!
and we have to walk thru the huge shopping area inside the airport....
there is no travellator....just crowd of pple...that we need to navigate...
some monuments in the ways....
cafe in the middle blocking....
rows of shops on both sides...
finally when we reach the clearance area...
the system is paging for us....
the whole plane is waiting for us....they will wait...i'm not worried
bcos they know we are in the airport....our luggages are loaded...
they don't want to waste the time removing it from the cargos....
but it is a bad experience....overall

why i have a sweet tooth

my excuse
life is bitter enough….why put more bitter into it???

It's May....

Today...my horoscope reads....

Your mind is in great turmoil right now, dear Libra, so it's not surprising that you can't pay much attention to anything. It's as though your conception of the world has been inexorably changed, and you see your love life and career with new eyes. Even so, you feel compelled to pick up the pieces of the past and save them. The day ahead should help you let go of the old world.

sometimes i wonder why it is so accurate....

actually...i wanted to write about something else...in another blog...which i write once a month (at least) in the beginning of the month...i drafted it...i wanted to give up on something...but i don't know what is stopping me...i am in a dilemma...i know what i should do....but i'm not doing it....hence the title...it's May....

one of my summer survival tools

after so many trips to india...i finally found my summer survival tool....actually this was bought in sg...for the fun of it...and it came in so handy...better than my insect repellent or perfume...secret success ;-)

appreciation

my job brings me around the world working
i was recently in delhi, india
the temp can go as high as 43 degree cel
and there are power shortage
mind you...it is not even the peak of summer
being born and bred in Singapore
that makes me really appreciate what we have here
and in a way....reluctant to venture abroad
unless things are in ideal settingbut is there?
we do have our fair share of unhappiness here
especially over freedom and control
but life is never perfect
be content no matter where you are...
always look at the positive side of things
and everything will turn out rosy in your eyes

am i getting old

so much to write but so little time
i opened up a new entry page as something came into my mind
just was about to start writing...
someone walked in and had a chat...
the next moment...the writing, the topic and the passion were gone
i can't even remember what was it that i wanted to write on
although moments ago...i felt it so strongly that i wanted to pen it down
how i wish someone can invent a small little electronic notebook that can note down all my thots
so many things come to my mind when i was taking my shower...when i was driving...when i was having lunch...but i just didn't have the chance to write them down....and i can't recall a thing minutes later...
why is that so? am i getting old?

Jealousy at work

jealousy is such a scary thing
why do i always encounter it...
do i really look so confident on the outside...
do i really attract the envy of pple surrounding me...
why do they always say things that hurt...
most recent case, a long time friend of mine A was 'shocked' to hear that i'm doing a master program...
i heard this from another friend B....
B said that A was not happy....said that I hide from her...
but B reminded her that I did say i am doing a course...
it is A who didn't ask and assume...
anyway...since I have my bachelor...of course the next to do is master...
what's the big deal...why shd A had such a big reaction? is jealous at work?
A is always the one who will be sarcastic towards me over minor things...
anyway....i took them along my stride...that's life...i just know that in my story, she is the villian character...heehee

Is inner beauty no longer impt?

what is inner beauty?
is knowledge consider beautiful?
does kindness make a person more beautiful?
to me...inner beauty supercede external...
but i wonder is my thinking outdated in this 21st century?

what trigger this topic of discussion
i was out with my friends for a gathering
and the topic on their facials, IHL, peel, laser, slimming sessions etc etc
and the thing is....i didn't even notice the 'slimmer' friend....the other friend with 'fairer face'...

they make me think...why place so much emphasis on external beauty
or is it something wrong with me...why didn't i notice their changes...and why didn't i think it is impt...to me...i always ask them to read this book...sign up for this course...

their excuses were that they don't like books as much as i do, they are more vain...i don't think my friends changed so much...i don't think i'm much difference from them...

but i wonder...has this got to do with the extensive advertisements on external beauty
given the daily bombardment of cosmetic advertisement, slimming advertisement etc

one of them even commented that...the best thing to them will be that i notice the difference...then their 'beauty regime' will be considered a success because i'm the total 'blockhead' in this area.
and the parting shot: do not just think of knowledge as beauty, start placing more impt on my look... is it so importance...will i succumb to all these external thing? how sad if that's all they think about

wisdom

there are things that upset you
be happy anyway

there are pple who have will hurt you
forgive anyway

there are pple who will not appreciate your generosity
do good anyway

there are pple who will not appreciate your kindness
be kind anyway

there are pple who will abuse the trust you give them
trust anyway

there are pple who misappropriate the funds
do charity anyway

you are bound to get hurt when you love
love anyway

so many thoughts on my mind

there are so many things happening
and so many thoughts going thru my mind
and i hv no time to put them down on b/w
again....another very hectic day for me....
awake for more than 20 hrs
done reporters interview...radio talk show...presentations
dinner...play games....eat durain

suddenly

suddenly.....i have the urge to see my favorite flower - tulips
a visit the Keukenhof Gardens in Amsterdam would be wonderful
drop everything and go
just forget about my worry...and see all the tulips in full bloom...

snow in beijing

Finally, a snowing Beijing...

my hotel room is facing inwards, i do not get a outside view
i woke up this morning going for breakfast discovering that it is snowing outside...
what a nice wonderful morning...
as it is sunday...we got a window seat in full view of the snowing street outside...

it is a march snow...
and the biggest snow this winter...
due to the global warming effect...
this winter is extremely warm...
hence this snow is considered quite heavy
although in absolute term, it is not...only some accummulated on the tree branches, cars etc

Iron pill

i'm now on 2 weeks of iron pill due to the blood donation...
but my gosh...it is giving me a hard time in the loo

already i have this problem before the donation
that's why i don't even taking iron supplement when i was diagnosed as being anemia last year...

that's the outcome of sacrifing, little suffering is worth everything as long as it can save live/s

something that is worth noting down

i did something that i have been wanting to do and took great courage to take the first step...
on the third day of CNY, i went to donate blood...

the thot first occurred in 2006 when i read in the newspaper that the bloodbank is in shortage of blood...
however, a check on my blood showed that i was below the requirement of haemoglobin level of at least 12.5 g/dl and mine was below it... so the idea was shelved and I was disappointed.

so this 2007, i'm determined to do it since i appeared well to most pple. ..thou i still feel faint sometimes

the bloodbank was quiet...there is less than 10 people around (excluding the staff).
I was nervous but went ahead to fill in the form and do the checklist.
There wasn't much waiting, a brief medical interview was done and I was to check my veins by the nurse as they appeared to 'thin' or 'light'.
The doc is worried they may not be able to draw blood easily...
but that was settled easily (i guess they are really in need of blood and no harm trying)

A quick check of blood at the centre showed that i'm eligible for the donation, at least no fever and haemoglobin level has reached the requirement.

I quickly moved into the donation area, it is a very comfortable area and the nurses are all very friendly.
I expected much pain but surprise surprise, they administered anesthetic to the area and hence i don't feel much pain at all...
initially, the machine made some noise bcos my blood flow was a bit too slow for its liking...haha...
so i was told to squeeze a heart-shape stress ball to help in the pumping....for every 3 secs...hence the drawing of blood became quite steady and was completed in about 10 mins....450ml in all...in one bag

so far, the experience was very satisfying...I felt a great sense of accomplishment and also surprising....peace...

this is the proof

but what happened in the next hour was very very scary...i was over confident and hence over stretch myself...suddenly i felt blackness in front of me...luckily i was in a car and have to quick lie down to get the blood flow back to my brain... i was near the edge of blackout...and it took me an hour to recover...at one stage i was have difficulty breathing...

this encounter was really really very scary...luckily my family was with me...

but it will not stop me from donating in future...
just that i need to note that i must take extra care and not have the same thing happening...
rest immediately is necessary...

what can be more evil

i was watching this movie banquet on board a flight recently...
1st, bcos there is no other better show...
2nd, rem i read the review somewhere...seem controversy...i thot maybe worth seeing

in fact, not much storyline...but the filming was pretty good...i especially like the part where the imperial guard was sent to kill the prince...once at his place...the way they slide down the white cloth...was very very well done....2nd is at the snow covered border...

but the part that left the most impression is when it was asked "what other thing can be more poisionous than a lethal poison" - the ans : "the human heart"

well...u hv to understand mandarin to appreciate this sentence. bcoz in mandarin poison and evil can interchange in usage...

well said...

左撇子

今天, 很多上海人跟我说
左撇子很聪明
是这样吗?

i need space

recently during an overseas trip
i realised how much we needed space
looking at the skyscrapers and the multi lanes roads....
i think i can nvr live long in a cramp space
especially me...
then surprise surprise
i read on the next day on the paper that S'pore is gearing for 6.5m population
omg....i can't believe it...
given the hot climate...it is going to be worse
some may argue that seoul is bad...11m in a space similar size to s'pore
but...think about it....it is not too bad given that the weather is cool most times
hence pple prefer to be cozy compared to s'pore...juz some theories on my part...

coincidental

today i heard from someone...at any point in time...how many beds can you sleep in....
doesn't this sound the same as my earlier entry....

juz find it so coincidental...this person is from nepal...work in hongkong and now based in australia.....

at that moment in time

how many houses can you live in?
how many cars can you drive?
how many watches can you wear?
how many pairs of shoe can you be on your feet?
think hard....if the answer is only one....stop and smell the flowers...
then put more shoes on the feet of children....