Bullies at school

my little one was pushed and punched recently in school by a boy from another class.

he is of a smaller size and has quite a bit of strength bcos my boy was bleeding from the nose and crying at the same time.

Luckily, there was a parent who happened to be around and rendered help to him.

the school only called after the bleeding stopped.

fighting in school is inevitable...especially young boys in a boys' school

but instilling the right values are necessary both on the part of the school (principle, vp, teachers and general staff) and parents.

what made me unhappy with the whole incident was the reaction of form teacher of the offender. I can understand her protection over her students, however, she actually said they are still investigating the case for the following reasons

1) the boy was diagnosed as a hyperactive kid and hence couldnt control his actions

2) the boy said my boy was in his way

My rebuttal to these are

1) my boy is also a hyperactive kid (tell me in today term, which boy is not hyperactive). Being diagnosed with hyperactive 'disease' does not give you the right to go round hitting people. mind you, it is not a slight slap or kick. He came from below (as he is smaller in size) and punched my boy up in the nose. To me, it seems like a planned action. If the condition is serious till the offender is not able to control his action, then is it better to keep him away from such school environment?

2) no matter what is the reason behind, the person who started the fight is at fault. Have you heard of any criminal getting away stabbing someone and claiming the victim was wrong. Irregardless of investigation, a warning and punishment to the offender is necessary right there and there. If you let the matter rests for a while, he will not understand why he is being punish later. if you do not give a stern warning about such actions right on the spot, you are 'breeding' a hooligan behaviour right at the school compound.

I personally do not tolerate such behaviour!

Moreover, after some questionings around myself, i discovered that my boy is not at fault at all.

The judgement of offender is totally out. Finally, he was given 3 days of detention. I hope he learns his lesson, better late than never.

During the past few days, my boy's nose bridge developed a big bruise, he refused to see a doctor for consultation. He is already suffering from sinus problem, I pray to God that this will not cause further permanent damages to his nose. Throughout the unfolding of events, the parents of the offender never attempt to offer any apology at all.

So does your child know how to deal with bully in school? Mine obviously didn't know as he didn't retaliate (react) at all when he was punched. Maybe the pain was too acute for him to react except to cry.

We as parents can do a bit to help, but make sure we do not embarrass them or make it a habit of helping out everytime.

Talk to them about bullying. Give them scenarios to help them open up and share (fears and feelings). Make sure they know that the bully is the one at the wrong.

Encourage them to approach teachers, principal to share what is going on instead of talking to the principal on their behalf. They can report to you after that.

The main aim is to teach the child how to work through their problems with bully instead of resolving for them.