Ethics of Communication

1) Moral Principles

-trust

-tone

-time

-tact

2) Creating opportunities to talk

-family time

-bed time

-travelling time

3) Listen for content and intent

never too late

never give up and abandon them
pursue them
never too late to start

Why children do not listen to their parents

they sense you are not real

they sense your sarcasm

they sense your lack of moral confidence

Phases

discipline (0 to 7) - give instructions

training (8 - 12) - imitations

coaching (13 - 19) - influence

relational (20 & beyond) - be a mentor

it's a constant struggle

why do i say so?
with a kid in tow...
almost all parents will give priority to them
they are young...they are dependent....they need help...assistant...care...etc
until so that we may lost themselves...
it is a balance between the freedom of doing what we used to do...or want to do
and giving all our awake time to them...sometimes even in between sleep...

to be continue....

Lovely Oct flowers

HDD gone!

my portable HDD which i have been storing all pixs was dropped onto a carpetted floor not long back and that's it....it is no longer working....i hunted high and low for someone to get it repaired...or at least to retrieve my data...but to no avail...was a very heart pain experience...a lesson learnt as well....for losing so many precious pixs collected over the past 5 yrs or so....especially for those that i have no backup.

so this site became so precious....bcos most pixs uploaded here are gone....enjoy!

Safety tips in the swimming pool

here are some impt ways to keep your child safe in the pool:

1) always accompany them when they are near or in the water.
2) keep an eye on them at all times.
3) use floats and stay near the shallow end
4) no running or pushing near the pool

children are slower to realise dangerous situations and therefore more prone to injuries.

every child is talented

do not assume that they are lousy when they don't meet the grades in school...there are many more types of
intelligent than you can imagine....
Below is an extract from Psychologist Howard Gardner:
1. Linguistic
Children with this kind of intelligence enjoy writing, reading, telling stories or doing crossword puzzles.
2. Logical-Mathematical
Children with lots of logical intelligence are interested in patterns, categories and relationships. They are drawn to arithmetic problems, strategy games and experiments.
3. Bodily-Kinesthetic
These kids process knowledge through bodily sensations. They are often athletic, dancers or good at crafts such as sewing or woodworking.
4. Spatial
These children think in images and pictures. They may be fascinated with mazes or jigsaw puzzles, or spend free time drawing, building with Leggos or daydreaming.
5. Musical
Musical children are always singing or drumming to themselves. They are usually quite aware of sounds others may miss. These kids are often discriminating listeners.
6. Interpersonal
Children who are leaders among their peers, who are good at communicating and who seem to understand others' feelings and motives possess interpersonal intelligence.
7. Intrapersonal
These children may be shy. They are very aware of their own feelings and are self-motivated.
source: http://professorlamp.com/ed/TAG/7_Intelligences.html

Learn to ask the right question

To punish (cane) or not?

this is really a tricky question....
it really depends on your own values
do u believe in caning?

It's very exciting

Happy 43rd Birthday

Singapore 43th Birthday Celebration!

Circle of Trust

Bullies at school

my little one was pushed and punched recently in school by a boy from another class.

he is of a smaller size and has quite a bit of strength bcos my boy was bleeding from the nose and crying at the same time.

Luckily, there was a parent who happened to be around and rendered help to him.

the school only called after the bleeding stopped.

fighting in school is inevitable...especially young boys in a boys' school

but instilling the right values are necessary both on the part of the school (principle, vp, teachers and general staff) and parents.

what made me unhappy with the whole incident was the reaction of form teacher of the offender. I can understand her protection over her students, however, she actually said they are still investigating the case for the following reasons

1) the boy was diagnosed as a hyperactive kid and hence couldnt control his actions

2) the boy said my boy was in his way

My rebuttal to these are

1) my boy is also a hyperactive kid (tell me in today term, which boy is not hyperactive). Being diagnosed with hyperactive 'disease' does not give you the right to go round hitting people. mind you, it is not a slight slap or kick. He came from below (as he is smaller in size) and punched my boy up in the nose. To me, it seems like a planned action. If the condition is serious till the offender is not able to control his action, then is it better to keep him away from such school environment?

2) no matter what is the reason behind, the person who started the fight is at fault. Have you heard of any criminal getting away stabbing someone and claiming the victim was wrong. Irregardless of investigation, a warning and punishment to the offender is necessary right there and there. If you let the matter rests for a while, he will not understand why he is being punish later. if you do not give a stern warning about such actions right on the spot, you are 'breeding' a hooligan behaviour right at the school compound.

I personally do not tolerate such behaviour!

Moreover, after some questionings around myself, i discovered that my boy is not at fault at all.

The judgement of offender is totally out. Finally, he was given 3 days of detention. I hope he learns his lesson, better late than never.

During the past few days, my boy's nose bridge developed a big bruise, he refused to see a doctor for consultation. He is already suffering from sinus problem, I pray to God that this will not cause further permanent damages to his nose. Throughout the unfolding of events, the parents of the offender never attempt to offer any apology at all.

So does your child know how to deal with bully in school? Mine obviously didn't know as he didn't retaliate (react) at all when he was punched. Maybe the pain was too acute for him to react except to cry.

We as parents can do a bit to help, but make sure we do not embarrass them or make it a habit of helping out everytime.

Talk to them about bullying. Give them scenarios to help them open up and share (fears and feelings). Make sure they know that the bully is the one at the wrong.

Encourage them to approach teachers, principal to share what is going on instead of talking to the principal on their behalf. They can report to you after that.

The main aim is to teach the child how to work through their problems with bully instead of resolving for them.

Parenting - never too late to start

parenting....you maybe beginner
you may be a natural
just start parenting

Noone is perfect (parents included)

be ready to admit mistake, say sorry in front of your kids
they will learn from you

Natural Disasters

in my course of work, I have been to Chengdu at least 20 times
i have also the opportunity to go dujiangyan, jiuzhaigou, panda nature reserve etc
these are all so close to the epi-centre, wolong panda nature reserve is only 30km away...
i sadden me to see such a bad earthquake to hit this part of the country which is so close to my heart
i thank God for the blessings i have
appreciaion for all the blessings we have here
my heart goes out to those people in Sichuan province
and to those who are badly hit / affected by this natural disaster
God Bless

my idea of an ideal holiday

to wake up to see sunrise if i want....
to zzzz in & not worry about schedule....
to follow the mood of the weather....to fit my schedule
to stretch & hv the wind blowing in my face....

what is beautiful to you.....

to me it is when you get to see falling leaves with sunlight as the backdrop on your way home from work in the evening....

i love my country...but am getting frustrated...

anyone can provide the statistics on the # of cars on the road at any one time vs public buses?

in normal 3 lanes road, one is delicated to buses....it is called the BUS LANE....you get a fine if u drive on that lane....but at any one time....the other 2 lanes are jam pack with cars for at least 5km while there is not a single bus in sight....

is it an efficient use of resources????

i know the agrument is to encourage pple to give up cars and take public transport...but aren't u (the policy maker...yes you....i'm talking to u) a car-driver too....will u give up your car.....if u can't, why expect others?

well....my agrument is....we work hard...we use our intelligent, our time, our energy.....all our resources to achieve whatever we have to be driving on the road...in our own car.....compared to pple who choose to take the public transport....

experience or knowledge

i am curious....do most people think experience is more impt or knowledge is more important...
of course the best is both....but then it is not easy to 'have the cake and eat it'
i am more slanted towards experience as experience really helps to avoid mistakes while if without experience, the next best is to gather as much knowledge as possible....
but certain things do not allowed for experience....it is like once in a lifetime...
haiya....this topic is getting too heavy....